Polyamory Resources
Relationships are complicated, no matter the model. But the difference with polyamory is very few of us have any real education into how it works. This means educating ourselves is vitally important. But actually finding the best resources to do this can be a daunting task?
So, below, I've gathered a collection of my recommended sources for discovering more about polyamory and ethical non-monogamy.
(Please be aware, some of these include affiliate links)
BOOKS
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Opening Up: A guide to creating and sustaining open relationships
The first book I recommend to anyone looking to explore ethical non-monogamy, because it focuses on the idea that you build your relationship around what works for you.
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“Opening Up” explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships -- from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management.
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Mating in captivity: Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic
While not focusing on polyamory, this books should be read by anyone looking to create strong and lasting relationships.
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In “Mating in Captivity”, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples. Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.
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Polysecure: attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
This can be a tough read if you’re not familiar with psychology, but once you get into it it’s incredibly useful in learning about emotional connections.
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Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern extends attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a theoretical treatise and a practical guide.
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A Basic guide to ethical non-monogamy
My essential guide to everything you need to know to begin your journey learning more about polyamory.
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As the modern world slowly moves away from the idea of cultural uniformity, we find ourselves facing new ideas. In a world where individualism is embraced rather than stigmatised, we find ourselves facing concepts and ideas that are new to us.
“A Basic Guide To Ethical Non-Monogamy” provides a breakdown of all the essential information you need to begin learning about all forms of ethical non-monogamy.
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More than two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory
While the work on Franklin Veaux has been revealed to be problematic, there is still a lot to be gained from this book.
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Can you love more than one person? Have multiple romantic partners, without jealousy or cheating? Absolutely! Polyamorous people have been paving the way, through trial and painful error. Now the new book “More Than Two” can help you find your own way. With completely new material and a fresh approach, Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert wrote More Than Two to expand on and update the themes and ideas in the wildly popular polyamory website morethantwo.com.
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Bi: The Hidden Culture, History, and Science of Bisexuality
Bisexuality and polyamory are not inherently linked. But once you start to look at it, there is about about relationships in general we’re not seeing.
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From the invention of heterosexuality to the history of the Kinsey scale, as well as asylum seekers trying to defend their bisexuality in a court of law, there is so much more to explore than most have ever realized. Drawing on her own original research—and her own experiences—this is a personal and scientific manifesto; it’s an exploration of the complexities of the human sexual experience and a declaration of love and respect for the nonconformists among us.
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The Science of Storytelling
While ostensively about writing, this book perfectly explains the nature of how we interpret the world, and how this impacts our relationships.
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Stories mould who we are, from our character to our cultural identity. They drive us to act out our dreams and ambitions, and shape our politics and beliefs. We use them to construct our relationships, to keep order in our law courts, to interpret events in our newspapers and social media. Storytelling is an essential part of what makes us human.
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IS MONOGAMY DEAD?
Dissatisfied in her relationship and hung-up on her ex-friend, Rosie Wilby goes on a journey to work out exactly why she can’t find happiness in a relationship.
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This is a rather misleading title. It’s not truly about monogamy or non-monogamy. Instead, it’s the story of someone who decided to actively break down their relationship with relationships, look at the options available, and then work out exactly what she needed. A must for anyone trying to grapple with their own concept of what a relationship actually is.
PODCASTS
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Polyamory Uncensored
Polyamory Uncensored is a podcast where we interview a new poly person each episode and try to answer the 5 basic tenets of journalism: who, what, when, where, and why as it pertains to the life of us poly folks.
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Practicing Polyamory
The mission of the Practicing Polyamory Podcast is to provide a platform for all of the real life, flawed humans that practice polyamory so that we might all learn from one another and grow as a community. This is a safe space where people admit their shortcomings and failures, celebrate wins, and talk about the hard lessons learned along each individual’s journey through polyam.
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Multiamory
Multiamory offers support and advice for modern relationships. Whether you are monogamous, polyamorous, swinging, casually dating, or if you just do relationships differently, we see you and we’re here for you.
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Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Listen to the incomparable therapist Esther Perel counsel real couples as they reveal the most intimate, personal, and complicated details of the conflicts that have brought them to her door. So....where should we begin?